Family life, Paleo-ish eating and Coping with Chronic Illness

Posts tagged ‘Sick’

Blog Rehash and Nutrition Preachers

Hi.  Where you been?  I’ve missed you.

I didn’t know what to expect when I published my blog about my little health scare.   When I was writing that blog, I had that familiar sort of in-my-body, sort of out-of-my-body feeling I get when I’m writing as a reflex.  When I’m in that weird place, I certainly want to write, but mostly I just HAVE to write. I don’t notice time passing; I don’t want to eat, talk or to be distracted until my word well runs dry.

I felt compelled to share my last story, and I’m not looking back. But, I embrace truth.  The truth is, I made myself a little uncomfortable with that story.  I used the word “breast” a lot, didn’t I? You know what?  I’m not generally a big user of the word “breast”.  Actually, I try to avoid naming private body parts out loud, if I can help it.  I’m repressed, and I like it that way.

So, I flayed myself open with that story. Once the story was published, I felt spent.  Exposed.

Bloggers can keep track of how many people are viewing their blog.  You know where this is going, right?  Yep. I’ve never had more people read one of my blogs than this “breast” blog.  I watched the numbers keep climbing higher and higher.  I saw those numbers, and I felt grateful that anyone would spend their precious time reading words I wrote.  I also felt embarrassed. I thought, “It will be just my luck. That dumb blog will go viral, and the whole world will be reading about breasts.  My breasts.”

The blog did not go viral. The blog probably did not even register as a tiny droplet of water in that great blogosphere pool of blogs. People on the interwebs talk about breasts all the time.  Mine are not breaking news.  Whew!

Okay…I’m done now.  I just wanted to tell you how I felt weird about using the word breast, by continuing to use the word breast.  We get each other, don’t we.

I’ve been blogging for more than two years now.  That’s a lot of blogs.  People sure can change in two years, can’t they?  Two years ago, I was a meth addicted prostitute, living in the streets. Remember that?

Naw. That’s not true.  I’m just trying to make my blog go viral for real.  I’m gonna need more than the word breast to make that happen.

Two years ago, I was a busy, working mom with three kids and a husband.  Wow!  Still am.  Maybe things don’t change as much as I thought.

One thing that did change is this.  I used to proselytize about nutrition.  Paleo, in particular.  In fact, I still have “Paleo” in the title of my blog.  I don’t write about Paleo now, and have little interest in sharing what I know about Paleo anymore.

Here’s what I learned from my Paleo preaching days.  People do NOT give a crap.  Force feeding your ideas on nutrition down people’s throats is the perfect way to win the most annoying friend on Facebook status.  I know, because I won that award.  The ideal time to share your ideas on nutrition with your friends and family is when they ask you to share.  Otherwise, keep her zipped, yappy.

One day soon, the word “Paleo” is coming out of my blog title.  Prepare yourself.  I know It’ll be kind of a sad day for you.

I’m telling you all that, because, naturally I need to lower your defenses before I talk to you about nutrition.  And, you thought I wasn’t clever.

I just wanted to say this.  My family will tell you that I’ve always been a bit of a nutrition junkie.  Nutrition is very interesting to me, and I spend a lot of my free time reading about nutrition.  When I thought I had cancer, I was a little surprised that all the good food choices I have made over the years didn’t offer me protection.  Sure, lately I wasn’t as rigid as I was when Eddie was very sick.; still, relative to the rest of the world, I thought I was doing okay.

Before I received the good news that I was fine, I turned into the most fanatical health food junkie version of myself.  I told Scott that I was doing a ton of reading, and I’d be darned if I was gonna go down without a fight.  He laughed.  He said he knows me well enough to know I’d do everything within my power to beat whatever came at me. He probably feared it.

I realize, I’m not fighting for my life anymore.  Except, I am.  We all are.  Another reason I’m grateful for my health scare is that being scared reminded me that I have a decent amount of control over how I feel, and how I age.  I mean, I get it, ultimately, I have NO control over how things end.  We know any crazy thing can supersede the laws of nature at any moment.  But, minus a scary superseder, I AM in control.

I have a renewed fervor for building strength, and protecting the miracle of my interwoven body systems with high quality fuel.  This scare we had, reminded me of my belief that nutrition and exercise are my first line of defense.

That’s all I’m going to say. Please don’t block me on FB.  I promise I won’t post pictures of my brownies made out of avocado and kale.  Scott just gets mad at kale.  He’s sorry he knows about it.

Gross-Fe0322-Yogurt-Embed1

Yum!!!

Pope Rod and Hall-of-Fame Jane

I have been doing some soul searching. Don’t you think blogging is kind of weird?  I’ve been thinking a lot about blogging lately.

Our Pastor had some interesting things to say this week.   Was it a coincidence that he spoke to my troubled mind?  I guess I don’t think so.  Our Pastor talked about human nature a.k.a. sin. He says we can’t escape it.

Our Pastor is a kind, soft-spoken, humble guy.  He told us that he feels like he has been called by God into ministry.  He said he knows he is using the gifts God gave him to serve others and to serve God.  And, he said he also craves human praise.

Exactly.  I could’t agree more.  I mean, he really does.  I’m glad he can finally admit it.

I’m trying to make a serious point. Why can’t I ever stop clowning around?

No.  I don’t think our Pastor craves human praise; I think I do.  And THAT is really starting to get on my nerves. And, so is all this bold print I keep using.

Humble people are my favorite. Seriously.  I just love them.  I married one of the humblest people  I know.  And, I think it is only fitting that I brag about it.  I’m just attracted to humility.  It’s so magnetic.

I think about all the super awesome people I know, who have super awesome lives, and I’m wondering this: Why the heck haven’t they started a blog? Because they weren’t born a fool, I guess.

I know a lot of fantastic people who don’t like/need/want attention.  I want to be like those people.  Blogging probably isn’t going to get me there.

This stuff is the bane of my existence right now.  I am confident that I’m in my sweet spot when I’m writing and making jokes.  I feel like God meant me to use this thing I like so much.  But, my motives are NOT pure.  When someone shares one of my posts with their friends, or sends me an encouraging word, I’m just like a puppy.  My tail starts wagging, and I’m eager for more.  I’m not very evolved.

I don’t know how to escape this.  I thought a good start would be to follow my Pastor’s lead: tell the truth.  So, there it is.  That’s the truth.  I’m going to pray for myself on this one, and ask for insight.  I’ll let you know what I hear.

You know who should have a blog?  Rod and Jane Spillane.  What? You haven’t heard of them?  That’s surprising. They’re famous at our house.

Rod and Jane have been married a long time.  Rod is our Youth Pastor.  Jane is  Rod’s wife.  She is a music teacher and Rod’s helper in all things.   A long time ago, Eddie made up nicknames for these two beautiful people:  “Pope Rod” and “Hall-of-Fame-Jane”.  Eddie always makes up nicknames for people he loves.

You know that song, “I get knocked down, but I get up again.  Never going to keep me down…”? That could be the Spillane’s theme song.  They’ve had some rows with life, but they are faithful, humble servants, and they just keep pressing on…I love them.

When Eddie was home bound and barely able to get out of bed, he didn’t feel very social.   Eddie had no interest in seeing anyone other than his family.  I can’t exactly know why.  My guess is that it takes too much energy to pretend you’re not sick.   I also think being around healthy people just adds insult to injury for sick folks.   They wonder why it is so easy for other people to feel so good, and why they can’t.

During those long, sick winters, there was one person who wouldn’t take no for an answer from Eddie.  That person was Rod.  For a couple of years, I would have told you that Rod (30 years Eddie’s senior) was Eddie’s best friend.  Rod would come to the house almost every week and hang out with Eddie.  They would goof around, make jokes and Rod would try to remind Eddie to keep hoping.  It helped.  It helped so much.

Pope Rod and Hall-of-Fame-Jane do not blog, and they do not want attention.  But, that’s just too bad, because my heart is full and I want you to know how much I love them.  The other night they had the kids put together Christmas gifts for kids in impoverished countries.  It was fun:

Rod and Jane

Hello Pope Rod and Hall-of-fame Jane. Why are you so cool?

The kids all went out and bought things they thought other kids may enjoy receiving.  Here’s the loot:

Christmas child gifts

Then, somehow Pope and Hall of Fame managed to get these teenagers to wrap all these gifts, and write letters to these kids across the world who these teenagers did not know:

eddie wrapping

Hi. I’m Eddie. Don’t worry, I just LOOK like I’m going to carjack you. I’m actually going to give you a gift.

This weekend, Hall of Fame Jane and Pope Rod are taking Zeke and the other youth group kids to Chicago.  They’re going to clean for, feed and serve folks who are having a rough time of things.  Hall of Fame and Pope are the type of people who should be blogging.  And, if they’re not gonna do it, then I’ll just have to do it for them.

And, finally, I’ve got one more important thing to tell you.  Scott said the nicest thing he’s ever said to me last week.  He said they made a commercial about me.  The commercial came on and he yelled for me to come and see it.  He said the last scene especially reminded him of me.  Here it is:

I gave Scott a hug, and said, “Really?  Because that’s who I think I am too: crazy, dancing lady.”  Then, I said, “But you’d probably say my moves are a little better than hers, right?”

And there you have it: how deep introspection has taught me nothing.

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