Here’s a story begging to be told: Olivia and I were at Walgreens. We were getting ready to back out of our parking stall when a man knocked on the window. This man appeared to be in his 20’s, and he looked physically fit. He told me that his kidney was bleeding, and he needed a ride to the hospital. He seemed to be in really good condition for someone with a bleeding kidney, but I’m not a Doctor. So, maybe that’s normal. He said he just got back from Afghanistan.
What would you do? You can’t just NOT help someone with a bleeding kidney, right? Especially someone who was in Afghanistan.
You can’t say, “Oh, your kidney’s bleeding? Well, I just bought some cheese balls, and I kinda want to get home to eat them.”
I wanted to help him. But, I also didn’t want to end up on “Dateline”. You know, the Mom and her daughter who ended up dead, because they fell for the ol’, “My kidney’s bleeding, and I was in Afghanistan story?”
I had to think quickly after the man approached us. I told the guy that I would go get my husband who I knew would give him a ride. I knew Scott would too. I’m not sure Scott is capable of refusing anyone in need. I’ve never seen it.
Eddie was home too. I thought that Eddie and Scott could both go. It’s times like that when it occurs to me that all the broken furniture and holes in our walls caused by the rambunctious males in our family has an up side. I do worry about my boys, but mostly I worry about their health, their futures and their choices. I don’t think much about whether they’ll be victims of random violence. I know it could happen. But I just don’t think they’d go down easy. I know I’m biased, but I happen to think an unarmed guy who is about the same size as Eddie and Scott, would be awfully foolish to attack them. Especially if he had a bleeding kidney.
Do you remember hearing about that MMA fighter who was the victim of a carjacking? Well, he WOULD have been a victim. Except, the MMA fighter ended up beating the crap out of the guy who was trying to steal his car. The mug shot of the perpetrators face in the news was dreadful. He was smashed up. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. I really love that story.
Unfortunately for me. Eddie was sleeping when I came back home. So, I sent Scott and Zeke to help the man with the bleeding kidney. That DID worry me. Zeke is a bruiser too. It’s just that he weighs about 100 pounds. So, that’s a disadvantage.
The guy was waiting for Scott and Zeke at Walgreen’s. The ride to the hospital was interesting. The guy told the boys that he trained dogs for the Army. He said that he was in California, and when people from the US Army saw how he outran these powerful Army dogs on the beach, the Army asked him if he would join them. He said he did. The guy said his dogs had teeth made of titanium. And, he said those teeth could break through concrete, medal fences, and just about anything else. Which is super useful in the Army.
Then, he told the boys that he was a stellar athlete. He played football and baseball in College and had his choice of schools to play on scholarship. Scott told the guy that our family was into wrestling, and then, coincidentally, the guy remembered he too was a wrestler. He said he won a state championship in California. He reminded the boys that California is a BIG state. So, that made getting a state title even harder.
Scott said the guy told him too that his kidney was bleeding. Apparently, it was a bullet wound from Afghanistan. I’m not sure why the Army didn’t take care of a bleeding bullet wound for this guy, and why he was standing in the Walgreen’s parking lot with a fresh wound. But, I don’t know much about the Army. Maybe that’s how things work.
Scott dropped the interesting fellow off at the hospital, and asked him if there was anything else this guy needed. It sounded like the guy was going to be okay. Scott thanked him for what was for sure one of the most interesting conversations he had this year. So, that’ the guy with the bleeding kidney story.
We’ve been spending some time in the car together as a family this holiday. On one trip Zeke informed me that I will be exactly like Grandma (my Mom) some day. He said, “You know how you always say Grandma is eccentric, and laughs at her own jokes? You do the same thing. You’re going to be just like her.”
I thought Zeke might have a point. We all agreed that being like Grandma was a good thing though. Because, everyone loves Grandma, and Olivia said she’s the funniest person she knows. Secretly though, I was thinking that Zeke doesn’t realize that I’m not the only one who laughs at my jokes. Other people do too. I mean, at least I thought they did, but I guess I’ve never really asked.
A few days after that conversation, we were on our way home from our Iowa Christmas celebration. It was late, and I was too tired. We were talking about the Wrestling team, and where Eddie might go to college. Somehow, that subject morphed into talking about monkeys. And, I really can’t recall the exact reason we turned there. Then, I got the idea that Scott should start recruiting monkeys to wrestle on the team, because monkey’s would make great wrestlers. And then I told Eddie that he better check out schools that let monkeys in, because there might be a chance they’d let him in then too. Then, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breath.
No one else thought I was funny. I mean, they humored me with a little chuckle. But, really, they were just tolerating me.
Zeke said, “Mom, remember when I said that you were going to be like Grandma some day. Forget that. You ARE like Grandma right now.”
Some people just don’t know a good joke when they hear it.
We had SO MUCH FUN in Iowa. Scott came from the coolest clan. I love them all. Scott’s family has a lot in common. They are ultra competitive, and so great with people. But, what they’re all NOT great at is technology.
We got an idea to take a selfie of all the adults. This turned into quite a complicated project, especially with little people running around us. I didn’t realize my brother-in-law, who was holding the camera, actually video taped our attempt for a few seconds. Again, I don’t know why these things humor me so, but seeing his big serious melon in the corner, while I try to control my laughing fits, and Scott’s sister tries to give directions, and everyone else is obediently smiling into the camera, makes me laugh all over. Here’s the video:
We finally figured out that it would be easier to have Olivia take the picture:
My mom and I like the way we are. My Mom asked how can she ever be lonely when she’s the funniest person she knows. I totally agree, Mom.