My blogging all but dried up during the cold, busy season of wrestling. I mean, winter. I forget that it isn’t spring, summer, fall, wrestling for everyone else.
Anyway, I’m back now.
Because I have this writing compulsion, my poor Facebook friends have had to take the heat. In light of my inability to find time to blog, long and regular Facebook posts have become my jam. I’m ready to blog again; now I can put all my nonsense into regular blog updates.. My Facebook friends will be glad for it.
I have just one subject on my mind today: how badly I handle the end of an era. Not good at it at all. Eddie is going to college. He will be moving out.
Three of the worst days of my life were the three days I dropped off our kids at Kindergarten. Since that time, I have developed only a few meager skills to improve my ability to cope with days like this.
I remember dropping Zeke off, and running into a friend of mine on the way out of the school.. This friend was just as nuts about her kids as I am mine. I was blubbering and carrying on, and even though she gave me a nice pat on the back, I could read in her eyes that she’d thought better of me than this pathetic display. No need for all the fuss, really.
In my head, I am totally aware that over the years, gazillions of moms who love their kids have managed first day of Kindergarten, and high school graduation without theatrics. I can too. Except, I’m not off to a very good start.
Yesterday, I was in the bathroom at a restaurant, and I heard a little boy tell his Mom, “Hey. I’m not suppose to be in here. This bathroom is for gewls, not boys. I’m a boy.”
I remembered when Eddie was offended by the same thing when he was little, and then I got choked up.
Later, I was watching a show with a dad playing football with is two little sons, and there the tears were again. Scott always played football with our kids. Boo hoo!!!
Then, I watched a rerun of “The Middle”. Sue Heck was going to college. You’ll never guess what I was doing. Okay, so you did guess. Crying.
Little kids and TV aren’t the only things making me cry. I was putting gas in my car, and heard a sad song playing over the P.A.. That’s all it took. Tears in my eyes again.
All three of our kids remember how I handled the whole Kindergarten debacle. I’d like to think they remember it, because it really isn’t like me to cry and carry on. They haven’t seen it much in their lifetimes. I generally save the all out crying for deaths of loved ones…and Kindergarten.
I remember 5-year-old Eddie trying to make me feel better about his Kindergarten debut. That kid was so happy to be growing up, and a part of his own society. He couldn’t figure out why his Mom wasn’t on board. I wrote in his baby book that one day after school he was trying to make me feel better. He said, “Mom, when I’m at Kindergarten, just go to the zoo!”
See,he said that, because we took the kids to the zoo a lot, and he knew I liked it there. Now can you see why I’m CRYINGGGG???? Isn’t that SOOOOO sweet????!!
I know. Pull yourself together, lady.
I’m going to try. I really am. Because kids moving on is good. That’s what you want them to do. It means they’re healthy, and it means you haven’t done the worst job as a parent, right? Plus, Moms say goodbye to their 18-year-olds every year, and you don’t hear them whining about it. I mean, if my 18-year-old was clinging to my leg, begging to stay, THAT would be something to cry about.
I’ll pull it together. I promise. I will. I’ll go to the Zoo.