Family life, Paleo-ish eating and Coping with Chronic Illness

Attempting Technology

Oh, it feels like too long since we’ve caught up.  And, by caught up, I mean me rambling on about nothing in particular, and assuming anyone cares.  The idea that you’d have to be at least a little narcissist to enjoy blogging does not escape me.  I see it.

For now, it appears, I can’t be stopped.

There are not a lot of big things happening now, which is exactly the way I like it.  Just all the normal chaos.  Like, taking Olivia to school.  This week, on our drive, I was complaining to Olivia about my long  to do list.  I think I’m like most women.  As soon as I buckle up in the car, my brain starts churning through everything I need to remember.  Unfortunately, I’m buckled in; there isn’t anything I can actually do about getting the stuff on that list done. I go through the list anyway; I guess I like keeping myself  in a perpetual state of anxiety.  It’s just fun.

The problem with this silent recitation is that by the time I unbuckle my seat belt, get out of the car and get to work or home, I’ve forgotten the list.  I just don’t have the kind of memory that actually remembers.

I told Olivia that it would be nice if I could capture my thoughts on tape.  You know, like with a tape recorder.  She didn’t know. What’s a tape recorder? She did offer a helpful suggestion from her generation, “There’s gotta be an app for that.”

Indeed.  There is.

list note

This is what the app looks like.

I downloaded this app. I’m sort of test driving this thing.  So, bear with me.  So far, I want to say I love it.   I don’t want to be all greedy and irresponsible, and tell you this thing is changing my life.  I don’t know that yet.  I feel like it might.

This app allows you to dictate the things you have to remember.  Then, you can categorize the items on your list.  Right now I have three categories: Home, Work, Blog.  To me, this is revolutionary.  I have carried around a notebook in the past, but for some reason this isn’t immediate enough.  I have to have the notebook with me, and I have to remember to write stuff down. Then, I have to remember to refer to what I wrote down.  It was an okay system, but I wasn’t the best at implementing it.I always have my phone with me.  So, this app thing is better. 

I haven’t worked out all the kinks yet.  I had a note on my list that said, “Check on our well.”

Gosh, that was driving me crazy.  I kept wondering why I would want to check on our well.  Especially since we don’t have a well.  I was thinking and thinking, begging my brain to deliver some thought I recognized.  Then, while I was thinking, I heard a story on the radio about someone dying, and that was just the thing I needed to remember.  Our WILL!  Check our WILL! As in, last will and testament.  I wrote that note to remind myself to call a lawyer about setting up our will. I don’t need to check the well. The well is probably doing fine.

I guess the voice recognition system on my new app is a little glitchy.

Like, right now I have a nice list going, except for one item.  It says, “Ad carriage ceremony.”

Woah. These things drive me nuts.  I put this thing in there.   What does it mean?  What was I trying to say?   I know there’s a perfectly necessary thing not being done right now that sounds like, “Ad carriage ceremony”. I don’t know what to do about it.

Sad marriage balogna?

Mad porridge territory?

Flat garage homey?

WHAT. IS. IT???

If I was supposed to do something for you that sounds like “Ad carriage ceremony”, I want to tell you I’m really sorry.  Like, if you’re my homey, and I was supposed to flatten your garage, I hope you will forgive me.

I’m also sorry that I need technology to step in and be my brain, but I do.  I’m gonna have to be okay with that, because I don’t see an alternative.

I guess I’m all about technology today.  I also wanted to tell you that I decided Scott and I should have more conversations via texting.  A friend posted this cute story about a husband and wife, and their sweet and funny texts to each other.  I thought that seemed romantic.  This couple had dozens of silly and kind texts to each other about nothing in particular.

I told Scott we were going to start doing that too.  Come to think of it, I don’t remember if he answered.

I couldn’t really imagine how this texting thing was going to happen.  Scott saves texting and phone calls for special occasions.  Like, when he’s on fire, or having a stroke.

If I’m at work, and I see that I have a call from Scott, I always pick up.  That is an emergency.  Scott doesn’t call to chat.  He calls to tell you to get to the hospital, or come bail him out of jail. Really, I should thank him or that.  Talking to Scott on the phone isn’t that pleasant.  I’d rather talk to Reggie.

I know I’m painting Scott in a pretty poor light, and, basically, I get to do that, because It’s my blog, and he doesn’t read it.  But, truth be told, I could be a lot better at texting and talking on the phone myself.  It isn’t my favorite.

This new romantic texting plan is not without it’s challenges.

So far, I’m getting a lot of one word responses from him, and nothing overly clever, or romantic.  Like, I wrote, “Hey sweetie.  I’m on my way home from work.  What are you doing?”

Scott’s reply, “At home.”

Well, you little rascal, you.  What do you think he meant by that?  He’s a clever one.

We’ll keep trying.

Scott is romantic in other ways.  Like the way he bought me a pull up bar for the kitchen.

He really did.

We got a delivery from Amazon, and it was NOT something I ordered.  I thought it must be a mistake.  That’s never happened.  Scott ordered something on impulse.  No discussion, price checking or comparison shopping.  I didn’t know it could happen.

Scott said this pull up bar was going to be awesome.  We could do pull ups any time of the day we wanted, which was super good news for me, because I HATE it when I’m making cookies, and I’m like, “Where’s a freakin’ pull up bar when you need one?!!”

Problem solved.

Scott did show me that the pull up bar is versatile.  He told us we could do some ab work with this thing too.  Let me explain.  Scott hung from the bar, and raised both straightened legs up until they were close to his face.  So, um, try that.

I’m a good sport.  I tried it.  When no one was looking.  Yeah.  That was really funny.  There’s nothing about that exercise that is possible for me.

I will give the kid credit.  I like this ugly contraption.  I have been using it every day.  Two weeks ago I could not do one unassisted pull up.  Now, I can do one.  Just one.  Next week, I am aiming for two.

I have been using the pull up bar every day.  We all have.  I think it might be one of the many things we all tease Scott about, and then secretly call him a genius.

The best part about the pull up bar, is that I get to do pull ups in my work clothes.  I look so awesome doing this, I wanted to show you.  I can tell my kids are so proud when their friends come over, and their mom is doing pull ups (attempting) in heels and a skirt.  I guess I’ve always been on the cool side. Not to brag.

pull up

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Comments on: "Attempting Technology" (7)

  1. Thanks for the belly laughs…good medicine!

  2. Jeanne Lietzan said:

    This made me laugh out loud. Brava.

  3. It’s 2am. I was fidgety so I kicked myself out of bed and am catching up on my reading. (I have 35 other tabs on my phone web browser open right now for “read it later” stuff). I chose your blog. That was dumb. In not the least bit tired now. Thanks.

    I’m also slightly obsessed with figuring out the ‘ad carriage ceremony’ deal…. So far the best I’ve got is “grad something ceremony “…hmm, yeah maybe I’ll figure it out and get back to you after I put away a table full of folded laundry I’ve been ignoring… Maybe…

    • Oh my goodness. You are SOOO funny! Most of all, you’re smart. Because, I think you’re probably right. It must have something to do with graduation. ‘Tis the season, right? I just don’t know what?

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