Family life, Paleo-ish eating and Coping with Chronic Illness

I know.  That’s a lot of things.  I was trying to think about how to commemorate another year on this Earth.  What I thought of was a really, really big surprise party.  I mean, I’m simple. So, not a formal black tie thing.  Just a couple hundred people (or so) waiting to surprise me  at a fine restaurant.  Special people from throughout my 43-years will be there to offer their kind tributes and special memories.  We’ll have a table set up for gifts and money.  A really big table.

I tried organizing this thing, but it’s weird.  No one was calling me back.   I have a sneaky suspicion they’re organizing this whole thing without me. They probably don’t want me to lift a finger.  I get it.

I keep spying on Scott when he’s on the phone, to see if I can catch him in the act of making plans for my party.  He’s so good.  He always makes it seem like he’s talking to his assistant coach about wrestling.  He’s very convincing.

While I’m waiting for the gala to get off the ground, I thought I’d make a list of 43 things I’ve learned during my 43 years on Earth.  If you don’t have time to read the list now, don’t worry.  I’ll read them out loud for everyone at my surprise party.  You’re invited…to organize it.

43 Things I’ve Learned:

1. Keep your expectations for birthday’s and other holidays low.  Then, you’ll be happy with whatever you get.  I always do this.

2. Beans make you toot.  (I’m sorry.  It’s just that I’m scared I won’t be able to think of 43 things. I thought I’d start with the basics.)

3. Exercise helps almost everything.

4. So does a positive attitude.

5. Exercise outside whenever possible.

6. Being outside helps when you’re sad.

7. If you’re sad all the time,  something is wrong.  Address it.

8. People who know you shouldn’t have to worry about what kind of mood you’re in.  Be predictably pleasant.

9. Happiness = gratitude

10. Gratitude = liking the way God made you, and what you have already.

11. Don’t be hard to please.

12. If you’re thinking a kind thought about someone, tell them.

13. If you’re not thinking kind thoughts, ask yourself why.

14. Hear people.

15. Don’t interrupt.

16. Always bring more than your fair share.

17. The only right place to brag is on your resume.

18. Be curious.  Try new things.

19. Figure out what comes naturally to you, what you’re passionate about. Embrace it.

20. People want you to listen and care.  They rarely need your advice.

21. Root for other people.

22.  If you don’t like Doctors and taking medicine, eat real food.  Don’t eat more than you need. You don’t need as much as you think.

23. Don’t spend more money than you make.

24. Be organized.  If it’s hard for you, you can teach yourself how to do it.  Pinterest.

25. Work hard.

26. Being nice isn’t the same thing as telling people what they want to hear.

27. Be quick to forgive.  Don’t hold grudges, especially against yourself.

28. Say you’re sorry.

29. You know  you’re with good friends when it feels effortless.

30. Read.  A lot.

31. Look your best.

32. You can’t look your best with no effort.

33. Don’t be easily offended.  If things bother you a lot, that’s not things, that’s you.

34.  The more you talk about religion and politics, the less likely people will be to listen to you.

35. Don’t say mean things.

36. Don’t believe mean things you hear.

37.  Some people will never like you.  Like them anyway, and let them go.

38. Figure out what you believe.

39. Little kids and pets.  The best stuff life has to offer.

40. Laugh every chance you get.

41. Wearing fancy name brands for others to see.  Joke’s on you.

42. Quality over quantity.

43. Beans really do  make you toot.

This is my list.  I doubt these things have ever been said before.  I know what you’re thinking.  It’s like you just heard from a modern day Socrates.  I’m not trying to be a control freak about this surprise party, but you might want to think about mentioning the Socrates thing  in your tribute.  Just a suggestion.  But, really, do what you want. Remember? I’m not hard to please.

P.S. I asked Zeke and Scott to listen to my blog as their Birthday gift to me.  I’m not sure those two guys even know I write a blog. Well, they listened, and they gave this post the thumbs up.  Almost.  Scott said he had some slight reservations.  He said he really just doesn’t think beans do make you toot.

Then, he wanted clarification.  Scott said, “I mean, are we talking green beans, black beans, what kind of beans? Because, I’m not sure you can just simply say beans make you toot.  How do you know they do for sure?”

P.P.S. I’m not going to read Scott any more of my blogs.

P.P.P.S. Zeke didn’t like #31.  He thought it was weird that I said looking your best was something I would say I learned.  That IS weird, because mostly I’ve told my kids it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

I told Zeke that I thought looking your best gives you a psychological advantage.  And, I told him it’s good for a marriage to…

“Stop, Mom.  I don’t want to hear another word.”  Zeke interrupted me.

P.P.P.P.S. I didn’t enjoy reading the list to those guys as much as I thought I would.

Your visits here helped make my 43rd year AWESOME! That’s your gift to me, and I want you to know I’m grateful!  Here’s to 43 more great ones, and to staying the heck away from beans.  Tooting jokes always kill.

Birthday 43

I’m actually 43, not 34. I just wanted my age to be perfectly clear to my dyslexic friends.

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Comments on: "43 things I Have learned in 43 years" (8)

  1. hey! I thought you were gonna read that site I linked you to on that post about sickness!
    it explains why your #2 is WRONG…sorry dude, I thought you’re old enough to know…

    http://karenhurd.com/pages/healthtopics/specifichealthconcerns/ht-shc-whybeansdontcausegas.html

  2. Eddie taught me this texting acronym: TLDR (too long, didn’t read). That’s what I have to say about that article you sent me. I’m just speaking from personal experience here. Black beans are THE worst. Just hang out with me after I eat them, then tell me how true your article is.

    P.S. Thanks for the Happy Birthday!

    • I get the TLDR thing but in this case, that site is worth scanning.

      i’ll give you the short version. you need to eat them(fiber) more often to keep your system functioning better so that random meals with beans don’t have to push so hard(causing the aforementioned problem) to keep moving. I’m no expert but her science makes sense(and has proven true for lots of people I know:)

      but yes, your bean jokes add something to the list!

  3. Oh, that was for real? I’m so sorry my friend. I thought you were messing with me. I will read it, I promise. Your recap is sounds intriguing.

    • really? intriguing might be a stretch;)

      no worries, I was sort a just messing with you but then you sounded like you might not actually look at it at all so I thoughti’d I’d better get serious for a moment.

      that moment has passed. the effect beans have on you is now up to you. don’t forget to read/skim her page about the rug? that’s what made me think of her while reading your post about the stuff that affected your kiddos health. she really does know her stuff. ok, end of my schpiel.

      i’ll attempt to resume witty banter after this post. its no fun being serious any way.

      later gator!

  4. I read it. You were right. It was interesting. Must rethink beans.

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