Family life, Paleo-ish eating and Coping with Chronic Illness

I haven’t blogged in a while.  I thought people might notice, and start asking me where I’ve been.  No one did.   Really, not a single, “Where are you?”.  Not even from my Mom.  I’m working through it.  Kinda painful.

Guess it doesn’t matter.  I’m like an addict.  When I can’t find time to blog, I miss it.  I miss it so badly.  I long for it.  So, that’s my secret.  But, they say it’s better to get that stuff out in the open. So, there it is.

Every Mom knows that the Holiday season is just like having another part time job.  On top of your full time job.  On top of being a mother and wife.  Much is required.

At work, things are cranking up.  The boys’  wrestling season has begun, and Olivia is (was) playing basketball.  Plus, I’ve been developing a plot line for our “Teenage Elf”, and posting updates on Facebook.  It’s not like these posts happen by themselves.  And, I mean, if I don’t do them, who will?  That’s the question you have to ask yourself.  I think the answer is: no one I’ve ever known who is an adult, and not on psychotropic drugs.

teenage elf and barbie

All that beautiful stuff in my life is happening at the same time.  This leaves me very little time to breath, think, or write blogs.   That’s the order of my priorities.  I like to breath, think, write blogs, and then everything else.  You’re right. I’m a little off.

At any rate, I would never complain.  Because I feel like the luckiest, most blessed darn girl to be able to do all this stuff.  I might be having more fun right now than I’ve ever had.  And, Eddie is feeling good. So, there’s just nothing in the world to complain about.  Except people are designed to complain, so I still can find ways.

Last weekend, from Friday to Sunday evening, every moment was filled with athletic events.  Literally, every minute of the weekend was spoken for.  No one has ever accused me of being a neat freak.  (Which is unfair, because I really would like to be called that.  And, I do make my bed every day.) But, I do have some standards.  I almost always spend a few hours cleaning on the weekends.  I never really realized what a difference this cleaning made, until I couldn’t do it, and we were slowly buried in filth.

I knew this filth was getting to me.  But I wasn’t complaining out loud.  I just kept telling myself how fortunate I was to be able to have a great job, and to have kids who are healthy, and doing what they love to do.  All the while I’m telling myself these things, my eye is starting to twitch, and my nerves are fraying, because I’m walking out of the door every morning leaving the house in chaos.

Then, one morning I cracked.

Our dishwasher was broken.  Again.  I came back from walking Reggie, and Scott was packing his lunch.  There were dirty dishes on the counter, and the kitchen was an ugly landscape.  Scott patted me on the arm and asked me how I was doing.  I swore.  I did.  It wasn’t a lady like swear word either.  It was the worst kind of swear word.  I told Scott that I was going to be late for work, because I had to clean the bleepin kitchen.  Then I slammed the dog food bowl on the ground and walked out.

What the?

Yeah.  Just because I’m telling you that now, doesn’t mean I’m proud of myself.  I’m not.  I know you’re disappointed in me.  I get it.  I didn’t know that word was in my vocabulary.  I can’t remember ever saying it before.  Scott says I dropped the “f’ bomb one time when he threw a squeaky toy at me while I was sleeping.  I really didn’t.  He heard me wrong.  He just enjoys holding that over me.

That whole kitchen explosion was a total temper tantrum.  I sounded as ugly as my kitchen looked.  Scott was sorta speechless.  I surprised myself.  I had no idea that was brewing.

When I came back in the kitchen after getting dressed, guess what?  The kitchen was pretty clean.  I guess that’s what it takes.  Swearing.  I had no idea about this.  I’m going to pin what I learned on Pinterest.  How to clean your kitchen:  vinegar, baking soda, and “F” Bombs.

No.  I’m not going to do that.  Because swearing is bad.  It’s not a real strategy. But, I have to tell you, it does work better than gentle reminders.

But, no!  Of course, I won’t pin it.  That isn’t right, right?  You don’t think I should.  Do you?  I guess I’m a little torn, because it really did work.

I just have to think about it.  I’m always thinking.

The other day, I was on my way to work and I was thinking about blood sugar.  I was trying to remember the mechanics of how your body keeps blood sugar stabilized.  I’ve read a lot about this stuff.  I really should know this.  I’m really interested in these things.  And strangely, for how much I have read, I know very little.  I can’t seem to retain any of the facts I learn.   And, it occurred to me then, that the reason I get side tracked is because I get busy with things like Teenage Elf photo shoots.

I was arranging Teenage Elf on our buffet one morning, and taking a dozen or so pictures.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Scott shake his head at me.  He does that sometimes.  I’m not sure I like it.  I want to believe that he’s shaking his head like, “Oh, my wife.  She’s so cute.  Who else would dedicate this much time to the plot line of an imaginary Teenage Elf?”

I feel like that might not be what he’s really thinking though.

I don’t get it either.  I wish it would occur to me to act more appropriately.  It never does.

But, then again, Scott can get kinda boring.  Maybe I’m good for him?  I mean,  he puts really almost no effort into Christmas.  He doesn’t even like Christmas music.  Yeah.  I know.  His soul is dark.

The bad thing is, after all these years he’s begun to influence me.  I used to LOVE Christmas music.  Now, I like it less.  The other day I was hanging out with some hilarious friends.  I told them I heard the world’s WORST Christmas song on the radio.  I told them that I for real have to turn the radio dial so fast when it comes on the radio.  The song brings violent images to my mind.  When this song comes on,  I see myself stuffing a sock in the singer’s mouth.

I sang a line from this horrid song to my friend.  She said, “What?  That’s the Carpenters.  That’s a great song.”

So, that’s surprising.  I learned something new.  You can be a totally awesome person, and still like really terrible songs.  Here is the song.  What do YOU  think? It’s terrible, right?


Comments on: "Kitchen Swearing and Bad Songs" (10)

  1. I’m laughing too hard(in my office silently) to finish reading the article! I’ll totally pin that! heck, I might pin it for you! I’ve never said that word either but just the thought of the look on my husband’s face makes me laugh…and the thought of pinning that quote about vinegar and baking soda…yeah, gotta happen! though you might go viral then…and people will surely miss you then…if you use f-bombs, people care…sad but true, I guess.

    ps: if the 3rd paragraph weren’t true, the 1st wouldn’t be either…sorry dude, I’ve got a few of your posts to catch up. I look longingly at the email notifications that you’ve posted..and then never get a chance to read it!

  2. weird…pinterest must not be working today. I pinned your post like 5 minutes ago and no one has repined it yet…

    tomorrow you’ll have a swarm of new followers I bet though.

  3. How did you DO THAT, Vicki? I don’t even know HOW to pin things. I’m going to click on “Pin it”, and see what happens. I love you!!

    • ha, its just a copy/paste deal. someday you’ll figure it out:)

      I saw the pin link above and was all excited that it showed 1 pin…and then I realized you do actually know how to pin and it was you who pinned it…so much for viral. sorry dude.

      someday, people will realize that your post here exists and is totally funny and worth the read…then they’ll be pinning it!

      hope the pic I chose is ok with you, didn’t think I should put a pick of your kids on pinterest and didn’t want to pin a pic of the carpenter chic and those were the only ones that came up as options when I pasted your site address in there…so I picked a relevant cleaning pic:)

  4. Wow. You are smart. For sure this thing’s going viral, because no one’s ever thought of it before. We’ve done our good deed this holiday season.

    • never would I have considered that anything containing that vulgar word would be considered a Christmas season good deed…

  5. Well…you certainly have a point there. Merry Christmas, my virtual bff! 🙂

  6. That’s so funny that you thought someone else pinned it, and it was really just my dearest fan…me. I wasn’t sure I was really pinning it. I just clicked on things and typed things where it looked like I should. I think the fact that you and I both pinned it, basically means it went viral. That’s a lot of people. Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if my blog did go viral. We’re designed to want stuff like that. But, I have a feeling that could ruin everything. Strangers can be really mean.

  7. oh, I’m so glad you don’t have 50K followers…then you’d hear mean stuff all the time! I know you’re tough and could probably shake it off most of the time but that’s gotta be horrible to hear no matter how well you can ignore…yes, indeed, you’re better off with the amazing readers you have than to go get more…good think pinterest isn’t working so people aren’t pinning;)

    ps: totally agree with you on that song, blek…though literally stuffing a sock in it might be a bit extreme…

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