This past weekend we had a girls’ weekend with my side of the family. Not everyone was available. When you have a big family, having EVERYONE in one place at the same time is close to impossible. That’s why we’ve given up on trying to make that happen. Now, we just set a date, and be happy for whoever can come.
Our girls’ weekend was at the Blue Harbor in Sheboygan. Have you been there? It’s really nice. It’s kind of fancy. We stayed in a villa.
I come from solid, middle class folks. It seems like my folks bred mostly more solid, middle class folks. Now we’re turning around and breeding more of the same. It doesn’t appear as if there will be a millionaire in the bunch. It’s my parent’s greatest shame. Maybe if my parents would not have gone so heavy on the, “money doesn’t buy you happiness” speech when they were raising us, we’d have just one rich niece or nephew. A niece or nephew who could pick up the tab on our vacations. Very short sighted on my parent’s part.
Us middle class folks are used to staying in something pretty sweet called a “Hotel”. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to a hotel, but they’re pretty nice. At hotels you get to stay in clean rooms, use the pool, and your breakfast of homemade waffles and fake eggs is usually free. Very nice.
At the Blue Harbor, we stayed in a villa. Villas are swank. A villa is like a little house. We decided that if we split the cost of the villa enough ways, and only stayed for one night, we could swing it. When I pulled up to the Blue Harbor, and parallel parked my Hyundai Elantra between the Jaguar and BMW to check in, I knew I was home.
Can I take a side street in this story I’m telling you? I want to stop and talk to you about my Hyundai Elantra. I’ve been thinking about my car a lot lately; I want to get some thoughts off my chest. Scott and I bought this cute little car a couple of years ago. We wanted better gas mileage. I have a decent commute to work.
Would you like to hear my review of our Hyundai Elantra? No? Okay. Then, skip the next paragraph. I thought you cared about me, but that’s okay. I get it now.
I feel like driving my Hyundai Elantra equates to driving a flip flop. Know what I mean? Of course you do. That is so clear. I’ll explain myself anyway.
I have a really awesome chiropractor. He hates flip flops. I like this chiropractor. I think he is so smart, and knows much more about health and nutrition than almost anyone I know. He says that he knows flip flops are fashionable, and popular, but they’re just terrible for your body. He says flip flops are not safe to wear. He thinks flip flops are junk.
I trust my chiropractor. That’s why I have invested in some Teva sandals. They are made of sturdier material. They have a strap for support around the back of my foot. They probably aren’t at the top of any most fashionable shoes lists, but I love them. I’ve been wearing my Teva sandals for two years. They are NOT junk.
Now, I don’t think my car is junk. It isn’t. It turns on a dime (whatever that means), and you can hear the radio really good. Plus, it is cute. The problem is, I don’t feel like it’s safe. I feel like there’s a good chance it’s made of tin foil, spray painted brown. I feel like if I ran into a tricycle, my car would be totaled. If I ran in to a semi? Well, I doubt the semi would notice.
Then, there’s winter driving. My car is insane when it comes to winter driving. And, by insane, I mean terrible. When it snows, I feel like I’m sledding to work on bologna skin tires . Lately, in Wisconsin, it snows almost every day in the winter. I have to take our heavier van to work when it snows. I guess all that good gas mileage isn’t doing me much good in the winter.
I was driving my cute little car one day, and I suddenly figured something out. We accidentally bought a pair of cute, fashionable, junky, and dangerous flip flops for me to drive. We should have bought some Teva’s. Dang it!
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I’m sorry that it was a little boring. The whole point of that story is, I thought if it wasn’t too much to ask, you could maybe drop off a sturdier, nicer car in my drive way. I don’t mean to sound greedy, but you do enjoy my blog. So, I guess we’d be sort of even.
But, we are SUPPOSED to be talking about a villa. Let’s get back to that. Villas are not junky or cheap, like flip flops and Hyundai Elantras. Villas are nice. When my sisters and nieces and I all walked into the villa, I thanked God for making us middle class. It was super fun to be so impressed and appreciative.
I’ve told you about my funny niece, Libby. She will make you laugh all day long. Libby and I immediately jumped on the king size bed in the master suite. We did donkey kicks and all sorts of dance moves on that big bed. We yelled, “Yay for being poor! Yay for loving big giant beds that we will never be lucky enough to own! Yay for being happy to spend our entire vacation hanging out on this bed.” That took a lot out of us, but it was fun.
We laughed a lot. We went to the beach and we played games. We played one game called “Mafia”. Each round, whoever was the mafia would kill off the other players. The trick was to find out who the mafia was before all the players were dead. My sisters, nieces and daughter are so nice to me. So nice, that they made sure I was always the first one killed. It’s times like that when you realize no one in your family ever really liked you.
I try not be on my phone too much when I’m in public. That’s rude. You know what else is rude? Killing people. I told my family I was just going to hang out with my Facebook friends, while they played their dumb game. Here’s a picture of me talking to my Facebook family, and ignoring the other family. The family that kept killing me. I know what else you’re thinking about this picture. Just when you thought my hair couldn’t possibly look any better, here it is.
On Sunday morning I worshiped God like this:
Have you ever thought that we should all just stop trying so hard all the time? I see this picture, and it occurs to me that some of the best things in life take no effort at all.
I heart this past weekend. I heart friends and family. I heart villas.