Have you ever had a mid life crisis? I have; every February. I keep forgetting to not look in the mirror in February. If I remembered that, I wouldn’t keep having a mid life crisis. I wake up one morning in February and I see a chalky faced mole looking back at me. This mole looks like she’s been living underground for a long, long time. And, she has. Wisconsin winters are long.
What’s that you say? I’m a Christian, and Christians are not supposed to care what’s on the outside? Well, you’ve got me there. It certainly is what is on the INSIDE that counts. That’s what I tell my daughter. Except, have you ever looked at a chalky faced mole? You haven’t, or you wouldn’t challenge me on this.
Once the mole makes her appearance, I start to strategize. You know how men buy Corvettes when they have a mid-life crisis? Well, I kinda do that, except instead I buy a bottle of tanning cream; get a pedicure or high lights.
This year, for Christmas, I had a friend give me a crazy generous gift certificate to a salon and spa. I decided to use it to get color and highlights in February. Usually I do my own.
I know I have a lot of friends in the salon industry. They are awesome, and let me tell you, if I had a lot of discretionary income, I would be seeing those stylists A LOT.
I hope those friends are not offended when I say, HOLY STACKS OF CASH!!!! Do you know how much it costs to have your hair done? I’m going to tell you; $140 for color and highlights. THAT is an expensive mid life crisis. I may as well have bought a Corvette.
I wish I could swing getting my hair done in a salon more often. I would be so good at that kind of life. I’m good at chatting and reading silly magazines. I sit nice and quiet, and don’t even wiggle around. It’s just kind of a gift. I don’t try to flaunt it, but it’s there.
I was looking around at all the other women in the salon. Most of them looked quite a bit younger than me. They appeared to be familiar with the stylists too, like they’ve been there before. I had to resist the urge to ask them how on Earth they could afford this regularly. Maybe they were born into wealth. Or, maybe they owe their credit card companies interest for their cool hair. I guess I don’t get to know their business, but I really want to.
Another thing I’m good at is listening to people’s conversations. You can learn a lot of interesting things in a salon. One young, pretty girl was getting platinum hair with dark purple highlights. It actually looked kinda cool. I heard her telling her stylist that her dad was mad at her because she’s been in the ditch 6 times this winter. I was getting into the spirit of things by then. I thought I could get used to this carefree, high rollin’ lifestyle. I leaned over and said to that young girl, “Are you serious? He’s mad when you’ve only been in the ditch 6 times? What’s he expect, for you to be some kind of safety expert, or something?”
She’s like, “totally! I wish my Dad was as cool as YOU!”
I leaned back in my chair. I said, “Adults don’t understand anything. You should tell him he might want to try buying you a new car. Then you’ll talk to him more about staying out of the ditch.”
She thought that sounded like a really smart idea. I felt good about being able to help her with her problem.
When the stylists was massaging my scalp and I slipped into a catatonic coma, I started rationalizing. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to do this again. Tomorrow. I asked myself how a person could put a price tag on good mental health, anyway. In a way, this is like therapy, right? Don’t I actually NEED this…to stay sane? For my family? I mean, Scott buys himself all those…umm…I mean he is buying all that…well, one time he bought…electricity and insurance? Crap. I got nothing. He buys nothing. It’s like being married to a Monk.
I thanked the kind stylist. She asked if she could book my next appointment. I asked if she thought she had anything open in 2034. By then I would be retired. I might have a little more cash to throw around. She told me to get out.
That salon experience was AWESOME. But, I’m going back to old school, budget conscious methods for beating this mid life crisis. I’ve bought my tanning cream; I may splurge on a pedicure; I’m doing my yoga. Then, Olivia showed me this video. This is it. This lady is incredible. She has original and fresh beauty tips that won’t shred your savings. You’re going to like her too. You’ll thank me. Just watch this: